KINGDOM ISSUES - written by Obianke Victory

Kingdom Issues🙆

' So, have you guys had physical contact before?.. like, have you touched him?', Mummy Zach asked me sternly, her lenses balanced on her nostrils, causing a smile to break out on my face.

' What is funny?, She asked, her face contorted in a frown, making the situation worse. 

'', I stammered, composing myself, so as not to go into a fit of laughter.

' What?... Nonsense!', Mummy Zach rose up from her seat, as she called on the attention of the other elders.

I was confused as to why she could not allow me to finish what I had to say. 

' Sissy, what's the problem?.. what did you say?', Beulah asked me with concern etched on her face, as she had drawn closer on hearing Mummy Zach's high-pitched soprano.

I could understand why she was concerned. It was almost ten and my wedding is supposed to kick off by that time.

' She asked if I had ever touched bro Uche and, I was trying to explain but I didn't finish my explanation before she jumped up..', I said calmly, not minding Mummy Zach's drama, but concerned about my guests that were already seated and waiting for the service to commence.

' Sister could you?... I'm disappointed in you!.. the pastor would like to see you in his office..Now!!!'. 

I shook my head in pity at how people can change. That was brother James, our Bible study teacher who always preached that we should not cast the first stone. I was not bothered about going to see the pastor because I had done nothing wrong. 

On my way to the pastor's office, I saw my mum who was smiling at me. Confused, I entered the pastor's office only to see my fiance sitting. As soon as our eyes met, he smiled. 

' Bro Uche, this is an important and delicate matter, so, I don't expect any of you to smile...or is my face funny?' , the pastor said as my fiance tried to control himself.

' We are sorry sir', we chorused.

' So, what did you do?... What is this abomination I hear that you were involved in?', Pastor Femi asked.

' Sir, ... what I meant was that... when we went for our introduction, there was a dog in brother Uche's house and being scared of dogs, I jumped on him when the dog approached me.... that was it sir', I finished my story elbowing Uche who was laughing profusely.

' Wow!... It's eleven o' clock... let's start the service', Pastor Femi said.


The wedding had been successful despite all that had happened. Mummy Zach's facial expression could be likened to the one on King Pharaoh's, when he was drowning in the Red Sea. Probably, she had imagined that I would end up like her two daughters who were nowhere to be found in the christian faith.

Mummy had told me that she was smiling at Mummy Zach's facial expression because she was sure that I couldn't get myself involved in a thing like that.

Hubby was super excited. We relived the moment over and over.



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